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The Jewson Dream Team

After a long, and let’s face it rather subpar summer, European football is back. Now you have an excuse to not only cram in the games at the weekend, but also those cheeky midweek fixtures.

To mark the occasion, we got our very own expert Pep Jewson to put together his dream team.

Reporter: So Pep, explain your choices in defense today.

Pep Jewson: Well, we wanted to keep things tight at the back, Trench Alexander Arnold is great for when you need to dig in and deploy a deep block, whilst Aaron Wanbi-Ladder adds that much-needed aerial presence and helps the team reach new heights. With the centre backs, Tyrolean Mings will hopefully render their attack useless, whist Kyle Waller has recently shaved his head, so we think he’s ready to step up as a centre half.

Reporter: Some unusual choices there Pep, let’s hope they pay off. How do you see the midfield shaping up?

Pep Jewson: Well again, we’ve been quite conservative, Glen Wheelbarrow will be carrying a lot of the weight there, whilst Idrissa Gana Clay is a fantastic ball winner, let’s just hope he keeps dry! Philip Drilling is the more progressive of the 3, we’ll use him to poke holes in the opposition midfield.

Reporter: Well that all sounds pretty solid, and the attack?

Pep Jewson: We’re putting Kevin De Builder out on the left, but really, he’ll be playing more as a floating 10, using all his tools to construct attacks. Meanwhile, Allan-Key Saint Maximin will be turning up the heat down the right with all the twists and trickery that you could hope for. Despite what you might suggest from Pierre-Emerick A-Bag-Of-Sand’s name, he’s actually an incredibly pacey forward and we’ll be using him to get in behind.

Reporter: We’re all intrigued to see how it all comes together, any other comments Pep?

Pep Jewson: We’ll be making full use of our substitutes too, although Fabian Delph and Safety is still coming back from injury, ironically. Furthermore, we’re finding it really difficult for him to form a healthy relationship with Eden On-Site Hazard.

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